My Journey to Badass

 

My grown daughter gifted me this bracelet for Christmas. Because of the pandemic, we weren't together while opening presents. I was sitting in my lazy boy chair as I opened the package that came in the mail from Nordstrom's.  "My how fancy," I thought. I love jewelry and she knows that is always a safe bet to give me a gift of earrings or bracelets.  Badass?  Never, ever in my life have I ever been referred to as a badass before. I've been called other uncomplimentary names, but nothing close to this one. 

It didn't take long for a smile to creep across my face.  I kind of liked the idea that my offspring thinks of me in this manner.  When my children were growing up, I would try to give them a dirty look that would shock them into behaving -- it never worked. In fact, they would laugh at my attempts at ruling them with fear.

Still trying to decide if this description fit, and cautiously enjoying my new moniker, I asked for a definition. She wanted me to describe it for myself.  I pressed her.

Boldness.  Caring for your family fearlessly, she offered. Oh yes, I thought, I would like that to be me.

My son chimed in at my pushing for more.  "Boldness in creativity -- for yourself and others."  Oh yes, I like this too.  

I checked out the dictionary. Merriam Webster has two definitions. The first description is someone who is tough, gets into trouble and can be offensive.  Yikes, maybe not. But in the second definition, more accommodated by another generation said that it describes one who is formidable or skilled in some area, impressive. I like the word formidable. The women I look up to with great respect, are formidable. My heroes are formidable.  So the definition has transformed in the vernacular over the years. I like it.

Continuing my research, I found a wonderful article, 8 Signs You're A Benevolent Badass, on "Thought Catalogue's" website, written by Depti Singh.  She tells her readers that this kind of badass isn't like its "savage counterparts."  Here's the list:

                        1. You know your own self worth and don't settle for anything less

                        2.  You are a rebellious dreamer

                        3.  You lead with love

                        4.  You have boundaries and respect other people's boundaries

                        5.  You are a hard worker

                        6.   Trash opinions don't matter to you

                        7.   You are a visionary and want to give back to society

                        8.   You know how to have fun!

Now I am beyond delighted!  Not only am I a badass, I, when I am at my best, am a benevolent badass. And I shall now continue embracing this powerful, creative, loving, formidable woman that I am.  And I am further delighted that my children can see this in me.                      

I wanted to hold baby Jesus

                            

When I was growing up, Mom and I would decorate for Christmas precisely on December 16 -- never the 15th or the 17th.  December 16 was my Dad's birthday. The goal, I'm quite sure, was to have a perfect setting and perfect meal --steak, mushrooms, fried potatoes with pineapple upside down cake -- when he rolled in from work at 4:30.  (Just a side note -- all decorations came down December 26).

Each year the house was decorated like the year before.  The manger for baby Jesus had it's place at one of the end tables flanking the couch. For some reason, that's the only piece of a nativity set we owned. As I child, I was quite satisfied with that. As an only child, that meant I didn't have to share baby Jesus when he would suddenly appear on December 25. 

I remember being so excited for His coming. No worries about Joseph finding an Inn, no thoughts of Mary's pain in giving birth, no messy animals to consider, no a single shepherd or wise man interrupting such a private moment. Just the main attraction. I couldn't wait to hold that perfect 2inch specimen of a baby boy.  There was an awe instilled in me by my parents' and an internal knowing of how life changing Jesus was in world history and in the life of that little girl on Lauer Road. 

At some point, Mom began to acquire the pieces to the Hummel nativity set. She would get one each year for her Christmas gift -- that and chocolate covered cashews. The most exciting year was when we added a standing camel.  He was huge.  I still liked my lone baby Jesus best.

Mom and Dad are gone. I have the Hummel set, but can't quite bring myself to set it up. I started my own collection 30 years ago. The above photo shows some of the work of a Michigan artist, Maryfrances Phillippi. There are so many pieces and I love having such a variety of animals represented -- how often have you seen a turtle in a nativity. 

Tiny baby Jesus could get lost in the gathering. Not a chance.  I was trained at a very young age, that Jesus was the one character in the Holy Story to hold dear. And I do.

Notice the wise men, with a camel, with a turtle.